Around 10:20 last Wednesday night, this happened.
When Lindsay first showed me this vid snippet, I watched it nine times in a row and cried. My family is my whole life.
Speaking of which, for those of you who are wondering-- my life is really good. I know lots of people have a hard time coming home from missions... but I always knew I would not be one of those people. I just really enjoy things like sweatpants and couches and talking to my mom instead of strangers. Having free agency is so low stress. I love it.
More things that I thought would be weird but (so far) aren't:
- My little sister is getting married in August to someone she met while I was gone.
I'm surprised at how normal it all feels. As I see it, I get a new friend who has no choice but to love me! because somehow we're all going to be glued to each other for forever. WIN.
- Not having a driving sense of purpose each morning.
It's actually a huge relief. My only goal for the next 3 months is to end up with a good haircut and become beautiful. I recognize that this is probably the last true season of rest I will ever get in my life, so I am very committed to it.
- Television, music, my first name, the English language, and pretty much everything else involved in normal life.
Every day I promise myself I'll go to bed before 1a.m., but it's a goal I have yet to achieve.
And a couple things that surprised me.
- Scripture study is hard to fit in when your whole life is unstructured.
I'm grateful to have sisters who are good examples to me of diligence, because it takes a ton of effort on my part to crack open the holy writ now that no one's salvation is being influenced by the quality of my personal study.
- Costume changing = Complicated.
Part of my environmental homeostasis involves lounging about in running shorts 24/7... and now I have to live a higher dress standard law. It's not that I don't like being reminded of my temple covenants... I just don't like wearing clothes, in general... I'm still trying to figure this one out.
-I'm not a huge fan of shopping.
I don't know if Heavenly Father is training me for poverty or what, but it took a full week to give in to the idea that I might be interested in owning more than 2 pairs of shoes.
-While I was gone, the whole world decided to get pregnant.
My friends make motherhood look gorgeous.
- Subconsciously, I thought my homecoming would be, I don't know, kind of a big deal.
So I came home and... everything was normal. I was kind of surprised that first day when no one begged me to tell them mission stories or show them one thousand pictures of people they don't know or teach them Spanish.
Then I remembered how I felt when most of my friends came home. I couldn't have cared less about their missions-- I was like PLEASE JUST BE NORMAL or else I will have to hide from you when I see you on campus! But to be fair, it's true. Missions are special, but they are special to you. And you loooove your mission, but everyone you left behind just looooves you.
Don't get me wrong-- missions are the very best. They are the hardest, and they mean the world to you. And you will swear that those months changed the rest of your life and your eternity- everything you are and everything you want to become- and that you would not trade those experiences for anything. And then, like most callings in the Church, missions have releases.
I feel like I can honestly say I loved being a missionary.
And then I was released. (which I expected to be dramatic; it wasn't.)
And now, I love being a normal human being again.
It's really nice.