[blatant lie.]
But I am skilled: I wore ugly clothes way before someone decided it was hip. In my younger years in Tennessee, my mom and I would wake up at 6 a.m. on Saturdays to go yardsaling. Today, the only clothes I have that people like to borrow are the gems that come from DI or Goodwill or some mecca of vintage polyester in LA.
So when I discovered that it is possible to thrift whilst never leaving my couch?!? I was overjoyed. Though I would never purchase anything just to get a package in the mail [also a lie], I soon realized that I was born for this kind of frumpy shopping.
There's only one kind of coat that I want for this fall. A brown tweed wool riding blazer with elbow pads and pockets and leather buttons and a low-V cut so there's room for a scarf. I really don't think that's too much to ask.
But what the heck, ebay?!???! These two beauties were the only ones that fit my qualifications (and budget.) I was always the first bid—only to be outbid at the last minute by some robot out there on the internet! In the second instance, only by a dollar! Come on, people! I was in class when the time limit expired! Plus, it is remarkably frustrating not knowing who it is I am mad at! I need a scapegoat! Just like I still need a tailored jacket! How many exclamation points will capture my rage in this paragraph?! Twelve!!
This one is my last bet. After this, I am done. Either I will win, or I will die alone in the snow on BYU campus.
Ebay, the choice is yours.
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