Wednesday, August 8, 2012


Slexting. It's a problem.

No, read that again. It's not what you think.

Slexting refers to the incident of sleep texting, which has become an ever-growing first-world problem that is most likely wreaking havoc on all America.

Here's how it happens. Someone texts you late at night- probably from a time zone that is 2-3 hours behind yours. (Since your phone serves double-duty as your alarm clock, you have an overwhelming instinct to respond.) In your groggy head you are thinking, This brief and articulate answer to their question will nip this conversation in the bud and then me more sleep!

Fast forward to 10:30 a.m. Because the thing about slexting is you don't realize you've done it when you first wake up the next morning. It doesn't register until a few hours later, as a slow panic descends when you think about last night's events.

Oh, that reminds me. I had a dream that someone told... oh wait. Nope, that was real.

You realize you definitely responded although you have no recollection of what you said. But oh no- you remember laughing at what a funny joke you made in your reply. The elevator in your stomach drops another two floors.

Holding your breath, look through your phone. 
Maybe I just dreamt that I texted back!

Wrong again.
Turns out, your 1 a.m. self has better grammar than you would expect... and she's also real chummy and uses words that you normally do not, like "rockstar" and "champ." Or when she's feeling less outgoing, she will just cut to the chase and reply "nap" or "bed" to whatever anyone says.

[Just to have it on record, I am an excellent slexter and know none of this from first hand experience.]

Equally worse is when you manage to reply to someone who didn't actually text you, but only made an extended cameo in your dream- another thing I have not done.

Slexting. Let's raise awareness and fight this. Because no one should be responsible for anything they say after midnight.


  1. I slexted my boss once. That's was super fun.

  2. You're funny. Come back here now!