Thanks to the unsympathetically critical eyes and ears of these talented young women, this new hymnal eliminates everything that no one will really miss. Some of these progressive changes include no more hymns relating to sunshine, Zion, mountainous landscapes, or Easter. (We recognize that Easter is kind of a big deal in the Christian scene, so we'll have to commission someone to write a new song for that. Please keep it bouncy and light– aka not a sacrament hymn– and let the highest note not go above a C#, perhaps.)
Although the committee has already received a lot of backlash for throwing out fan favorites such as We Meet Again in Sabbath School and Should You Feel Inclined to Censure, we believe this list contains the only congregational hymns worth keeping– and that anything else will sound delightful when performed in a small group, putting the "special" back in "special musical number."
And now, The 2013 Ed. Hymnal of Good Songs Only
- The Spirit of God
- Now Let Us Rejoice
- Redeemer of Israel
- We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet (obligatory prophet song)
- Joseph Smith's First Prayer
- Praise to the Man
- A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief
- Come, Come Ye Saints
- Let Zion In Her Beauty Rise (surprise! obligatory Zion song)
- Come, Ye Children of the Lord
- Battle Hymn of the Republic
- All Creatures of Our God and King
- Glory to God on High (because it's short)
- A Mighty Fortress Is Our God (shoutout to Martin Luther: thanks for the Reformation! also, it's one verse.)
- Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
- Press Forward, Saints
- Guide Us, O Thou Great Jehovah
- How Firm a Foundation
- How Great Thou Art
- For the Beauty of the Earth
- Prayer of Thanksgiving
- Come, Ye Thankful People
- Lead, Kindly Light
- I Need Thee Every Hour
- Nearer, My God, To Thee
- Guide Me to Thee
- Jesus, Lover of My Soul
- Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer
- God Speed the Right
- The Lord is My Shepherd
- The Lord My Pasture Will Prepare
- Be Still, My Soul
- Where Can I Turn for Peace?
- More Holiness Give Me
- I Believe in Christ (but you may only pick 2 verses, unless you have major time to kill)
- I Know that My Redeemer Lives (but without the 4th verse)
- Did You Think To Pray?
- Sweet Hour of Prayer
- Let the Holy Spirit Guide (for when the last speaker inevitably runs over time)
- God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again
- Abide With Me; 'Tis Eventide
- Abide With Me!
- In Humility, Our Savior
- Reverently and Meekly Now
- I Stand All Amazed (but whoever is playing must not let it drag)
- There Is a Green Hill Far Away
- Joy to the World
- Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful
- Angels We Have Heard On High
- Silent Night
- Away in a Manger
- It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
- O Little Town of Bethlehem
- Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
- The First Noel
- Because I Have Been Given Much
- Lord, I Would Follow Thee
- Count Your Blessings (but you are only allowed to sing this once per year, so choose wisely)
- Onward, Christian Soldiers (for the young men)
- Called to Serve (for the missionaries)
- Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel (for our mom)
- Hope of Israel
- The Iron Rod (more reverent than "Book of Mormon Stories")
- As I Search the Holy Scriptures (again, short)
- If You Could Hie to Kolob (like anyone knows what it's even talking about, but the tune sure is pretty)
- O My Father (a matter of principle, because it mentions Heavenly Mother)
- Love at Home
- Love One Another
- As Sisters in Zion
- Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee (but lower key and not just women)
- Ye Elders of Israel
- Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy (but lower key and not just men)
- America the Beautiful (I'll always be bummed this isn't our national anthem)
- My Country, 'Tis of Thee
- God Save the King*
Clearly, we're pretty partial to the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and "Saved" songs. Some suggested additions, should we ever obtain the copyrights, are
- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
- Amazing Grace (to help the southern baptists love us more/hate us less)
- Be Thou My Vision
- Come Thou Fount
- My Shepherd Will Supply My Need (the pretty version, not the other one)
Also, we decided that with all of the ambiguity relating to the life span of Queen Elizabeth II, the hymn God Save the King could be a little more politically accurate. Here's what we came up with.
God save our king or queen!
Long live our king, or queen!
God save the crown.
Monarch victorious, Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us
Our king or queen!
We also fixed the second verse to be more relateable to the everyday worshipper.
Our leader, keep alive
And may our country thrive,
Our dollar strong!
May our economy ne'er fall to bankruptcy,
No measures of austerity,
Our king or queen!