1.) Your life will be sooooo much easier if you don't marry a psycho, so that later when you want to divorce her and marry a blonde maid instead, you don't have to go to jail.
2.) Not even a foreigner can resist a foreigner.
3.) Someone who has repeatedly made poor dating decisions in the past, if left to their own devices, may surprise you and actually find someone pleasant and normal.
4.) Everybody has baggage, so just make sure you pick someone with the kind of baggage you can deal with.
Ex: Tom has a bit of a temper and sometimes burns down rich people's houses. It's okay.
Sir Anthony Strallan is a nice, wealthy older gentleman with a hurt arm. It's not okay.
5.) If you are having a hard time expressing your feelings, go get a wise and beloved elderly person to do it for you. (I'm still pretty bummed Gordon B. Hinckley has passed on, because he'd be an obvious first choice for this.)
6.) You can win the heart and hand of whoever you have a crush on through sheer persistence and giving them lots of rides. Out of your league, schmout of your league.
7.) When your baby daddy is killed in the Great War, in-laws suddenly become very important. You want nice ones.
9.) You should be absolutely POSITIVELY sure someone likes you before you try to sneak into their room and kiss them while they're asleep. Like, maybe ask them about it first or something? Idk.
10.) Just because you're on Broadway with Jessica Chastain doesn't mean you can just up and leave the TV wife you worked for two seasons to marry. Real men stay put. Look at Jim and Pam. Derek and Meredith. Ben and Leslie.
Dan Stevens, you are so dead to me.