Hey you Mormons, read these talks.

Because they are my very favorites, and I can vouch for them all. 

Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence, by Jeffrey R. Holland.

Love Is Not Blind, by Bruce C. Hafen. 

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, by J.K. Rowling.

Be good.

xoxo

Scattergories : the letter is C.

Costco.

Church.

Covenants.

Clothes shopping online, which always begins in the name of missionary garb and always ends with a closet full of awesome stuff I can't wear for a year and a half.

Cereal rations on Oh's, which my mom rarely buys because it turns us all into druggies. My mouth is so torn up it hurts so bad to eat but I must. have. more.

Calling dibs on the names of our future children.

Cat-related humor, including who can go the longest doing an impression of a kitten during family scriptures without getting caught. (Confessing I have the maturity of a ten-year-old.)

Constant repeat: Tay Swift's Begin Again. That one song redeems the whole album.

Crying over Sean's dad on the Bachelor finale. Because that was just about the sweetest thing I have ever heard– definitely on reality television and probably in general, too. Mr. Lowe, you just won Father-in-Law of the Year.

Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam Teacher

I'm calling it right now and saying this one is the best I've ever had. 

The Lord knew how hard it was for me to sit through three hours of family ward church, so He is graciously allowing me to skip out on Sunday School and Relief Society in exchange for some free babysitting. DEAL.

Teaching sunbeams is the easiest thing in the world, because instead of being asked to tackle issues such as Modesty or Unrighteous Dominion of the Priesthood (true stories), the Primary 1 lesson manual covers important gospel principles like "I Can Be Kind to Animals" and "Music Makes Me Happy." (Lessons 35 & 39, respectively.) According to my calculations, Lesson 11: "I Am Thankful for Fish," falls on my last Sunday here and I cannot begin to express how excited I am.

Every week pretty much follows the same routine. We come in and sing "Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam"– with a joyful bounce on every "sunbeam." We do some kind of lesson-based activity, followed by a Reverent Walk! to the water fountain. Sometimes, if we're being EXTRA reverent, we continue on to the foyer, impressing passersby with our silently folded arms. Then we come back, color something, and have a S-N-A-C-K. At this point, Sister Simpson (or as Addy would say, Mister Simpson,) checks her watch and is dismayed to find there is still twenty minutes left to fill. So we reiterate something from the lesson, sing "Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam" a few more times (it's a crowd pleaser) and spend the remaining class time playing Happy House; Sad House. I'm delighted to report they've all really caught the fire on this one.

Basically, the game is a laminated sheet with two little hooks– you guessed it; a Happy House and a Sad House.
One by one, reverent sunbeams get to come up and take the next colorful house card.

"Oh no! You Colored on the Walls. Happy House or Sad House?"
"mmm... Sad House!"

"Okay! You Gave Mom and Dad a Hug. Is that a Happy House or Sad House?"
(gasp) I DO THAT ALL THE TIME! I DID- I DID THAT!
You did?! That's awesome! I bet they loved that! So, what do you think that is?
A HAPPY HOUSE!!!

Every five minutes, there is a triple-exclamation-point kind of event. I never want to go to regular church again.
 

The 2013 Hymnal Revisionary Committee

After two Sundays of thoughtful contemplation during sacrament meeting, the 2013 Hymnal Revisionary Committee (consisting of myself, Tori, and Megan) is pleased to announce the release of our new edition, featuring a total of 75 songs acceptable for congregations to sing. You're welcome. 

Thanks to the unsympathetically critical eyes and ears of these talented young women, this new hymnal eliminates everything that no one will really miss. Some of these progressive changes include no more hymns relating to sunshine, Zion, mountainous landscapes, or Easter. (We recognize that Easter is kind of a big deal in the Christian scene, so we'll have to commission someone to write a new song for that. Please keep it bouncy and light– aka not a sacrament hymn– and let the highest note not go above a C#, perhaps.)

Although the committee has already received a lot of backlash for throwing out fan favorites such as We Meet Again in Sabbath School and Should You Feel Inclined to Censure, we believe this list contains the only congregational hymns worth keeping– and that anything else will sound delightful when performed in a small group, putting the "special" back in "special musical number."

And now, The 2013 Ed. Hymnal of Good Songs Only

1. The Spirit of God
2. Now Let Us Rejoice
3. Redeemer of Israel
4. We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet (obligatory prophet song) 
5. Joseph Smith's First Prayer
6. Praise to the Man
7. A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief
8. Come, Come Ye Saints
9. Let Zion In Her Beauty Rise (surprise! obligatory Zion song)
10. Come, Ye Children of the Lord
11. Battle Hymn of the Republic
12. All Creatures of Our God and King
13. Glory to God on High (because it's short)
14. A Mighty Fortress Is Our God (shoutout to Martin Luther: thanks for the Reformation! also, it's one verse.)
15. Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
16. Press Forward, Saints
17. Guide Us, O Thou Great Jehovah
18. How Firm a Foundation
19. How Great Thou Art
20. For the Beauty of the Earth
21. Prayer of Thanksgiving
22. Come, Ye Thankful People
23. Lead, Kindly Light
24. I Need Thee Every Hour
25. Nearer, My God, To Thee
26. Guide Me to Thee
27. Jesus, Lover of My Soul
28. Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer
29. God Speed the Right
30. The Lord is My Shepherd
31. The Lord My Pasture Will Prepare
32. Be Still, My Soul
33. Where Can I Turn for Peace?
34. More Holiness Give Me
35. I Believe in Christ (but you may only pick 2 verses, unless you have major time to kill)
36. I Know that My Redeemer Lives (but without the 4th verse)
37. Did You Think To Pray? 
38. Sweet Hour of Prayer
39. Let the Holy Spirit Guide (for when the last speaker inevitably runs over time)
40. God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again
41. Abide With Me; 'Tis Eventide
42. Abide With Me!
43. In Humility, Our Savior
44. Reverently and Meekly Now
45. I Stand All Amazed (but whoever is playing must not let it drag)
46. There Is a Green Hill Far Away
47. Joy to the World
48. Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful
49. Angels We Have Heard On High
50. Silent Night
51. Away in a Manger
52. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
53. O Little Town of Bethlehem
54. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
55. The First Noel
56. Because I Have Been Given Much
57. Lord, I Would Follow Thee
58. Count Your Blessings (but you are only allowed to sing this once per year, so choose wisely)
59. Onward, Christian Soldiers (for the young men)
60. Called to Serve (for the missionaries)
61. Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel (for our mom)
62. Hope of Israel
63. The Iron Rod (more reverent than "Book of Mormon Stories")
64. As I Search the Holy Scriptures (again, short)
65. If You Could Hie to Kolob (like anyone knows what it's even talking about, but the tune sure is pretty)
66. O My Father (a matter of principle, because it mentions Heavenly Mother)
67. Love at Home
68. Love One Another
69. As Sisters in Zion
70. Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee (but lower key and not just women)
71. Ye Elders of Israel
72. Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy (but lower key and not just men)
73. America the Beautiful (I'll always be bummed this isn't our national anthem)
74. My Country, 'Tis of Thee
75. God Save the King*

Clearly, we're pretty partial to the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and "Saved" songs. Some suggested additions, should we ever obtain the copyrights, are

• God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
• Amazing Grace (to help the southern baptists love us more/hate us less)
• Be Thou My Vision
• Come Thou Fount 
• My Shepherd Will Supply My Need (the pretty version, not the other one) 

Also, we decided that with all of the ambiguity relating to the life span of Queen Elizabeth II, the hymn God Save the King could be a little more politically accurate. Here's what we came up with.

God save our king or queen!

Long live our king, or queen!

God save the crown.

Monarch victorious, Happy and glorious, 

Long to reign over us

Our king or queen!

We also fixed the second verse to be more relateable to the everyday worshipper.

Our leader, keep alive

And may our country thrive,

Our dollar strong!

 May our economy ne'er fall to bankruptcy,

No measures of austerity,

Our king or queen!

What I Believe and Why I Believe It

There are a lot of things (almost everything) that I haven’t figured out. There is a lot that I can't explain or wish I could fix that I can’t. Fortunately, someone else is already working on it.

Thing I Believe Number 1: There is a God. He is our Heavenly Father, and He loves us.

I was blessed to have a father (of the mortal variety) who, from the way he lives, taught me what God is like. God loves us not because we are smart or funny or charming, but simply because we are His. At times in my life when I’ve felt so very distant or disconnected spiritually, it has been the greatest blessing to me that I can think about myself the way my dad does, and know that if he loves me that much- unconditionally- despite all my flaws and weaknesses, then my Heavenly Father does, too- and then some.

An illustrative analogy:
Now that I’m in my twenties, I realize I’ve never been much of a swimmer. (At this point, I’ve abandoned it completely because my real gift is napping in the sunshine beside the pool.) But like most kids, I still went through years of swimming lessons and lots of summers playing in the water.

I liked it a lot better when my mom would teach me to swim. She would stay fixed in one place and I would fling my body out to reach her as fast as possible.

My dad was different. He would stay in one place with arms outstretched, but as I approached, he would slowly move back a little bit at a time. The closer I came, the more he would walk back, forcing me to go farther than I wanted to. Finally, just when I would think I was about to drown, he’d scoop me up, turn me around and say “Look! You just swam the whole pool!”At this point, I’d be very upset because I had not even wanted to swim the whole pool. My expectations were much lower- and I had narrowly escaped with my life.

Yet how similar is this to the way that Heavenly Father directs our lives. It’s not a hard sprint to the finish- “Come back to me as soon as possible!” Instead, (cliche alert!) most of our lives span like long journeys. Along the way we have to learn to trust Him- because He is going to take us a lot farther than we ever thought possible. At times, we may feel alone- simply because we cannot see His guiding hand, arms outstretched and ready to catch us should we fall.

And inevitably, fall we will- which leads us to:

Thing I Believe Number 2: Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world.

I believe that Jesus Christ is real, and that He knows. He knows what it feels like when your heart is broken or when you think you have gone too far and are out of second chances. He doesn’t leave. He isn’t concerned with how long it takes, but He has literally been there and He knows. He knows, with a love and a power and an empathy like no one else can.

Perhaps most importantly, I believe that Jesus Christ lives (present tense.) I believe that he came into this world- was born in a barn, walked the roads of Palestine, performed miracles and ministered until His crucifixion, all of it. I believe He was and is the literal Son of God. I believe He came to Earth to save us, because He loves us and He wants us to be happy.

That’s it, really. The heart of the heart of it is that He lives; He loves us; He saves us. He has saved me in ways I never anticipated I would need to be saved. I believe in the power of an infinite atonement.

I believe in grace. I believe that just as much as there working against us, (ie. I am among the spiritually paranoid who believe that Satan IS real AND is out to get us!) there’s a lot of power from the across the veil- on the good side- helping us out with favors and blessings we don’t deserve. I believe in angels and tender mercies and I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. I’m done believing that anybody doesn't have huge problems I just don't know about.

I believe in the scriptures. I love reading the Bible and I love the Book of Mormon. I know they are true not just because a) that is what my church doctrine states, but  b) because I feel them bring peace to my mind and love to my heart. Actually, I think anything and everything uplifting comes from God. But I believe in prophets- ancient and current- who testify of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit touches us in different ways at different times, but I know that by reading the scriptures I draw nearer to God. I do not read them because in my religion I “have to”- but because I genuinely want to. Honestly, in order to feel the way I like to feel, I can’t afford not to.

I believe in a future of light- that things are all going to work out. That they will be SO good, if someone laid it out for us now, we wouldn’t believe them. I believe in hope and I believe in miracles. I believe that people can change COMPLETELY from what they were before- if we will open our hearts and let them. I believe in trusting God and trusting His timing. I believe that He doesn’t forget about us or put the course of our lives on autopilot. I believe that if we put the Lord first, He will provide.

I believe that after we die, we will live again- forever. (Oooh! How cool and also kind of scary!) What this means is that right now, our souls still have a lot of growing up to do. In the eyes of God, we are still His precious little baby children trying to figure things out- what we’re supposed to do and where to go and who to be. But that is what He wants for us. And I believe He will help us get there-
                   

   wherever “there” is.