To My Darling Future Husband

Today I found this letter to you on my computer. It must have been written sometime in the last couple months, although I confess I have no idea when.

Hi, Huz.
I was just thinking about you today. And how my friends are finding the people they want to marry.
About how fun it’s going to be when we both realize we're there. 
In the meantime, I’m going to go on a mission– so you know, just keep it real for the next couple years and then we’ll get on that.

Love you,
Lauren

How tender. My eyes are misty with sentiment even as I write this. Way back in beehive class, I made a list of the qualities I wanted my Future Husband (always capitalized) to have. Turns out, all the important and charming personal characteristics I came up with are not actually dealbreakers.
New Rule: In the battle of (a) nicer than me, (b) funnier than me, and (c) smarter than me, I only get to pick two.

Since we're all older and wiser, we know how foolish those lists were. Mine was foolish because I was TWELVE when I wrote it, and knew nothing about what is important in life. Instead what I really need is

an updated list

• a great appreciator of music. but does not seek out classic rock, no matter how old you are. also does not have a crush on Taylor Swift. even if you liked her at the beginning, you now recognize her as an emotionally stagnant lyricist, and also a dating psycho. 
• if you ever had to play Star Wars trivia, you would lose miserably.
  ha. like you would ever play Star Wars trivia in the first place.
• loves to cook, or, loves to say things like "thank you so much baby– that cereal just hit the spot. you are the best ever."
• enjoys the sense of superiority you get from my total lack of sports knowledge. is at peace with the fact that I will never flip to ESPN as long as abcfamily continues to run quality programming like Princess Diaries 1 & 2.
• I like the aesthetic of couples who kind of look like they could be related. [this is only as weird as you make it.] so ideally, brown-haired boy, someone could post a candid of us on siblingsordating.com.
• a wearer of glasses. they will be prescription, and you will be unbelievably handsome in them.
  *in defense of wire frames: I actually have a soft spot for these. it shows me you aren't trying too hard. not like I would ever wear them, though– so style is up to you.*
• an experienced camper. good at starting fires and other boy-scout things. handy with a knife. excellent with directions.
• well-informed about the world, without being that guy who posts 500 political things on facebook every day.
• an incredible conversationalist. hilarious without being too mean. you know– nicer than me, funnier than me, smarter than me.

I think that pretty much covers all of the essentials.