The "Mambo No. 5" Effect

Firstly, I'm so sorry that you now have "A little bit of Monica..." stuck in your head. But now you are even more in-tune with what I'm about to say! Ahem.

We feel a special connection to artists because they create things that speak to us. Symphonies, sculptures, tattoos– these are all things we love because they resonate with our souls. This is normal. What is not quite as normal (although we're all victims) is when you no longer interpret an artistic creation as something beautiful that you connect with, but as something beautiful that was created SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU AND NONE ELSE.

Growing up, my mother would usually silence us during the chorus of Mambo No. 5 so she could deliver the line "A little bit of Sandra in the sun."

Mambo No. 5 Effect logic is as follows: 

My mother's name is Sandra + My mother is from Southern California = Mambo No. 5 was written about my mother.

I had always assumed this behavior was just my mom being eccentric. Until a few weekends ago, when my friend Angela hushed us all in the midst of a backyard dance party to hear the hallowed verse: "I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita."

Mambo No. 5 was her song. We all stood in silence as she chirped her 1999 shout-out. And I wondered how my mom would feel about sharing.

Obviously, to all you singer/songwriter/producer types out there, this Mo-No-Cinco Effect is EXACTLY what you are going for. There are two approaches to this:

1.) The Taylor Swift
Counter-intuitively, the more detail you add to a story, the more your relatability expands. Be as specific as you want with names and personal anecdotes, and let everybody else worry about application. You would assume that not every teenage girl knows what it's like to have a crush on Cory from Biology class– but you are wrong. They all have. Every last one of them. (And if not Cory, then Drew or John or Taylor Lautner.) Every teenage girl in America has dated a boy who drives a truck, has cried tears for him on her guitar, and has subsequently vowed that they will never ever ever get back together.

Example of the Taylor Swift Approach:
I have a friend (male) who said that T.Swizzle's I'd Lie was written about him. Green eyes, plays guitar, born on the 17th, beautiful sister, the whole nine yards. I had to give it to him. We Mambo Number High-Fived and speculated how he could have wooed her so unknowingly. (Did she have a real crush on him or perhaps just a facebook one?! We may never know.)

2.) The Justin Bieber
Dwell not on the specifics, but instead on the heart of the matter. Generic lyrics greatly increases your statistical probability of Mambo No. 5 by expanding your demographic. Nobody wants to hear a song about Selena Gomez– because we're all still pretty disappointed at how we do not look, dress, or live like she does. The Biebs realizes this, which is why he does not croon about cute little Latinas on Disney Channel, but instead sings vague expressions of devotion. Because there are a lot of lonely girls out there that think he means THEM AND THEM ALONE when he promises there's gonna be "one less" out of their ranks.

Example of the Justin Bieber Approach:

I wouldn't want this so badly unless I thought he wanted to be my boyfriend.

Admittedly, the JB Approach is not as cool as having a song with your name in it. I realized at a young age that nothing rhymes with Lauren– and thus I will never have a song about me, like Kelsey– or three hundred songs about me, like Annie. So all you Utah kids with obscure names that never got a personalized keychain at Disneyland? I get it. Phonetics are harsh.

The plus side is that I PREFER songs with ambiguous lyrics to begin with– and I am convinced to the core that these ones will never apply to anyone else as much as they do to me.

Joshua Radin: "Your hair is always up in a bun– this girl's the one." 

(Yes, it is! Thank you for loving the way I never do my hair!)

Bon Iver: "I'm in love with your honor. I'm in love with your cheeks." 

(It's true! I have the honor of a Chinese warrior and the cheeks of an adolescent squirrel!)

David Archuleta: "Like falling stars over your head, we were bound to burn out just like crashing cars– I'll never get over you, never over you 'cause you are so beautiful... yeah." 

(So emotionally honest of you, David! It's been a long time coming. Also, I think a solid "yeah" is ALWAYS a good way to let everyone know that you are done singing!)

Confession time. [Validate me.] What makes you Mambo No. 5?

The Internship That's Not About Bunnies

In nine days I start my internship with the National Council for Adoption. Doing "media relations" and "shadowing their attorney on the Hill"- so basically, I have no idea either. We're just gonna let this thing fly.
Also, in case you were going to ask (again) "So what do you want to do after you graduate?"
my answer is still a vague but promising "Something awesome." Right now I have more important things to figure out. Things like how to work the D.C. metro and where to buy food.

Never having been a pregnant teenager myself, I actually have no experience with adoption. So how FORTUNATE that right before the semester ended I got to help a real-life orphan stay out of the system.

My friends found him underneath a car in the parking lot- named him Dobby and took him in- even though it was finals week and they really didn't have time to deal with a rabbit pooping all over their house. What good souls. Naturally, as soon as fb informed me of this I was at their front door with some carrots.

We tried to take Dobby for a walk (hop?)... the leash was made for a small cat but could also accommodate a rather large bunny. Turns out the reason Dobby is so large may be because he doesn't really like to jump around in the grass but likes very much to sit there and eat it.

Let's be honest: I am not an animal person. But that thing was like a stuffed rabbit, I tell you. It would just lie there in your arms and calmly wiggle its nose.
I was smitten.

Natter the Elementary Education Major.
"Just attach this photo to your resume and anyone will hire you."

Using my "social networking skills" that I bragged about in my application I started a marketing campaign (ie. status update) to save dear Dobby from the animal shelter.
As it happens, another girl I don't know adopted him first. But FOR THE RECORD, I did have a legitimate bunny-lover contact me after the fact.

What this experience has taught me is that successful adoptions can take place as long as you have
a) friends who are looking to 'add one more' to the family, or

b) friends who just can't say no to faces like this.

Congratulations on your new home, Dobby!!