Awesome Things That Have Happened Lately

1.) So, first, there's the obvious.

You know that annoying newly engaged girl who doesn't just act like she's the first person to ever fall in love, but like she freakin' invented the institution of marriage??  Yes, that is me. I don't know anyone who has served in San Fernando before, so it's basically like I am opening mainland China. It's still so fresh. I will listen eagerly to your unsolicited mission advice for at least two hours.

2.) I have the best major ever. Not only are they, by definition, the most attractive people on campus– they are also the absolute nicest. This just gave me the warm fuzzies. LUV U SO MUCH, BROADCAST BABIEZZ!! I'll post more on you latah.

2.) Harassed my friend Audrey into singing an open mic night with me so I could not fail my guitar class. The entire Cullen family came out to support, which made us feel oh-so-loved. 

 

All my favorite vampires.

3.) My first 100 at the testing center. Perfect Score! it told me. chh. About time– I've waited four and a half years to read those words. THANKS, YOGA FINAL! You really came through for me there. [In hindsight, I don't know why I didn't take a picture; my posterity will never believe me.]

4.) The last Friday of classes, my roommates and I all stayed in and had a baby. I fed her milk and sang her Skinny Love– AKA the only song ever written with the word "suckle" in it. She waited to spit up until literally the second I handed her off to Shannon. atta girl, Lydia.  

5.) You know the running store by Macy's? 26.2? Yeah, not only do they give student discounts, they give them based on your GPA. Not just a promo deal, all the time. I got new running shoes [finally] for 25% off. You can't beat that, people. HOLLA for local business!!

6.) Temple Square. One of these photos is not like the others. See if you can spot the difference:

(a) pretty.

(b) pretty.

(c) pretty.

Oh wait, why is that demon voodoo doll hanging out on the top of the nativity? Were we out of stars, or what?!?

7.) USGA testimony meeting. No one excels like these guys at living the gospel while keepin it real. Many wonderful spiritual things were shared. But here was my favorite line of the night:

"I love you guys even more than Lana Del Ray." 

8.) That last post I wrote about the mission call finally surpassed in readership the post I wrote this summer about the Bachelorette. Seriously, what a relief that we all have our priorities in order. I feel like there's something wrong with me when everybody likes my dumb jokey posts more than [all two of] my touchy-feely ones.

But don't get me wrong...

"What The Bachelorette Means To Me" by Lauren Simpson

Dramatic by nature, I enjoy competing with other girls and keeping my relationships with boyz public and affectionate. If there is anything I have learned from Jill, Al and now Em- as well as the ABC Family Original Movie I Want to Marry Ryan Banks- it is that I would be a great fit for this kind of quality television programming.

But for those of you who weren't born to be reality TV stars, let me explain how this treasured post-FHE activity will quickly become a necessary check off your weekly to-do list.

a.) No lies: this show is highly addictive. At first you joke how they're all pathetic- and say you never watch it seriously (whatever that means)- but then you find yourself getting attached to a frontrunner. A few more date cards and you're invested. Then suddenly it's Hometown week and they're meeting the family and you are seriously committed.
Don't fight it. This is actually an excellent emotional progression, for now you have the ability to spend your time analyzing other people's relationships rather than trying to deal with them yourself. Which leads me to-

b). Are you scared of talking to girls? (The prettier they are, the worse it gets?) Good news! This show is your ACE in the hole. Because guess what type of humans love to analyze this show with you? That's right-   other women.
The BYU Broadcast Program has taught me many things, including 'how to converse with girls who look like walking pinterest boards.' Many a time I have transformed an intimidating stranger into an instant cheetah sister with a casual, open-ended:

"Who do you think the next Bachelorette will be?"

"Did you see her dress last night?"

"[favorite contestant] or [second favorite contestant]?"

"Do you think they'll ride in a helicopter/scale a wall/bungee jump tonight and then use the experience as an extended metaphor about their relationship?"

Works like a charm, every time.

Which brings us to this weekend's finale. [Killing me- figuratively- but not in the good way.]

I would not have picked Jef with one F. Not personally, nor for Emily. Apparently I am far in the minority on this one- with my sisters, with the Barlow Center, and with the rest of America. We can all agree to disagree- but the question remains:

If Arie and Emily can't make it together in this world, then what kind of a chance do the rest of us think we have?? 

Way to go, Arie. Way to go down swinging and then handle it with such class. What a man.