My Future Pt. 2

In the meantime...

for those of you who know about my very slight COMMITMENT issues...

I've committed.

Good things about this internship:
1. I am the FIRST media intern they've ever had- so I get to blaze the trail here.
2. I will get to ride the metro to and from work. This has already been consecrated as precious time to read, write, observe, think, and stay on top of homework in general.
3. Their office is in Old Alexandria, Virginia- which apparently, is a very darling town.
And as we all know, Virginia is for Lovers. 
3. The commute will force me to better prioritize my time so that every evening when I come home I will be sure to LIVE IT UP and experience everything in downtown D.C. (I am starting my list NOW... so if you have any suggestions of places to go or see or eat, I would love to hear them!)
4. They have an attorney on staff who they said I could shadow on the Hill and see some family-law-policy-work in action. Law school HOLLER!
5. Should I ever want to adopt a child, I will be one phone call away! :)

ALSO,
I am going vegetarian- at least until the end of the summer. At which point I may go back to Chick-fil-A if I cannot bear it, or at which point I may have turned into a total chunky-granola, full-fledged vegan.

"But Lauren, what's the big deal? You don't eat that much meat anyway!"
Exactly.
Might as well make the jump! I am excited to start and to JUDGE YOU ALL at this weekend's General Conference barbeque!!

totally kidding.

However, if you are of the vegetarian/vegan persuasion, DO share some of your favorite recipes. And when I say "some," I mean all. I am quite determined to become a good cook. (Ideally, I would love to be able to bake without eggs.)
Currently, I will finish up the chicken I have in my fridge.
And then I will start getting creative.
Goodbye, meat!

Hello, homemade granola bars.

You can find the recipe here via the lovely Sarah. Because if you have not had these, you are SERIOUSLY missing out.

My Future Pt. 1

Yesterday my father brought up some potential communications department openings at his office in Kentucky. I asked him if he seriously thought I wanted to move into the basement and attend the singles ward (dun dun dun) back home.

He offered to buy me some video games.
So thoughtful.

Sunshine

The Belle Factor

Last night at FHE our whole ward gathered to dine on pizza and watch a Disney sing-along video like it was 1995. Everyone loved it. And by "everyone" I mean all the girls and 3 of the boys. We followed the bouncing mouse head with youthful vigor and classically trained harmonies that rooms full of BYU students are wont to produce- even quoting the little ad-libs that aren't part of the official lyrics.

Merrily we sang our way through the Circle of Life video, from Simba to Aladdin to Ariel.
Until Belle came on screen and suddenly- I felt the vibe that we were standing on some sacred ground. I looked up at the girls parked on the couches around me and I realized a very important fact:

In this group, Belle was everybody's favorite princess.

Determining "Which Disney Princess Are You" requires no personality quiz. It comes down to a simple formula that is 50% hair color/ethnicity and 50% personal characteristics.

For Example

Brunette + literate= Belle

Redhead + can sing = Ariel

Tan + sporty = Pocahontas

Blonde + born after the year 2004 = Rapunzel

In a few illuminating moments I saw what makes that movie special. Half of these girls are pursuing advanced collegiate degrees. They empathize with the accompanying stigmas.

"Why would you go to med school and take a spot that could go to a bread-winner?"

They know about feeling stuck and wanting to get out into the Great Wide Somewhere.

They know they don't always fit in with the Provo All-Stars.

Or hair school girls.*

They're used to taking care of themselves and other people.

And they're past expecting any traditional "he-was-my-missionary" kind of love story.

Your favorite princess- your favorite anything- is always what you connect with the most. With a few exceptions, they all grew up as high-achieving Mormon girls; they know what it means to feel "strange but special." I know them and I watched them sing that song and something clicked.

Friends, I am here to tell you:
My ward is LOADED with Belles.

*When I was a senior in high school I tried to convince my mother that my true calling was cutting hair. I'm not a hater.

The Modesty Project + The Second Marriage

This is what I finished this weekend. 

By far, it was the most fun thing I have ever shot.
Because my friends were in it.
Because I wasn't on a noon deadline.
Because the topic is something I care about, and I didn't have to try to be objective.

Fun Facts about this Video for Non-Techies to Understand and Enjoy:

1. In the world of broadcast, "You're hot" means your microphone is working. It wasn't until the last interview of the day that I realized no one else knew that.

2. Today I showed this video as part of a church lesson on modesty. Ironically, I had burnt myself with a curling iron that morning on a very prominent place on my neck. So I looked super virtuous as I was presenting.

3. Adrian was the only interviewee who even suggested that immodesty was in any way attractive. When I was filming I couldn't decide if he was seriously the only one who thought that way OR if he was just the only one who was being honest. The newsroom boys all affirmed it was the latter.
"Lauren, immodesty isn't a good thing- especially in the long run. But just remember: guys are still guys."
I still don't know which story is more true. Because the other day the BYU men's cross country team ran past me and let me tell you, it was by far the most immodest thing I have ever seen... and it was not attractive.

This is what I did this afternoon.

Before: Dead plant.

New seed of love.

Magic FERTILIZER my friend gave me.

Implantation.

In its favorite spot by the TV and the window.

I have just a few weeks for this thing to sprout, grow and stay alive. Don't you fail me, baby.

Potential New Paper Titles

Second Chance to Bloom: A Novel

Death and Starting Over: People Do Both of These Things All the Time

Nothing Kills a Relationship Like Moving Too Fast

Lots of General Authorities Remarry

The Firstborn Son: must die, but then all subsequent children will be fine!

The Magic of a Good Pair of Shoes

Last weekend my dear London friend Amanda and I were strolling through the gateway mall a few hours before our dear London friend Sarah's wedding reception.

Thrifting beforehand. In this story, the shoes were present.
The coat was not.

Instant Replay:
4 year-old girl points in my direction. I turn around to see what she's so excited about.

"Look mom! It's a princess!"

Before I could process those words she had latched herself to my legs and buried her face in my skirt.

I was charmed speechless.

I tried to lean down, hug her back, and tell her how pretty her dress was or something. Her mom- kind of embarrassed, kind of loving it- politely tried to pull her away.

"No, Mom- it's a real princess!"

In that moment I took back every unkind thought I had ever had while babysitting young children.
And I thanked the Lord that I had bought sparkly gold TOMS and not the red ones.


Dear Mother of the Princess-Spotter,
                    You are doing a great job raising your daughter.

Please continue to encourage her to see potential and beauty in the ordinary- or even the mundane and unseemly. Thank you for nourishing her imagination and confidence, and for letting her believe in happily-ever-afters. Thank you for taking the time that morning to curl her hair and pin it back with a bow. We could use a few more princesses like her in this world. And she can hold on to my legs for as long as she likes. Anytime.

                      Love,
                     Lauren

Global warming has its perks.

This was my closet before.*

This is my closet AFTER!

It feels so nice to wear color again.

Also, to have a reason to shave my legs. A morning well spent. Reorganizing closets is my FAVORITE chore because it's like I went shopping and didn't spend ANY money!
(For the record, my second favorite chore is mulching. Seriously, I love it. I am awesome with a shovel.)

Goodbye, winter. Thank you for making such a short stay in town this year. I know it's still a bit early, but I would appreciate it if you would continue to not snow on my head... because if you do I will have nothing to wear.
xoxo,
Lauren

*The clothes in photos A and B are exactly the same. But you get the effect.

Law School?

This weekend Father Dear sent me the following email:

Top 5 Reasons for You to Go to Law School

5. You are young, beautiful, and smart and now is the time of life to load up on education that your family can buy you to secure a high income and fulfilling future.

4. To acquire lawyering skills.

3. Your mother wants you to become like Chris Cuomo.

2. Your grandmother wants you to become like Megyn Kelly.

1. When people tick you off you can just sue 'em.

  

It's true that Monday I'm going to a meeting about life in the lovely JRCB. I'm going because it was pitched specifically for Women in Law School and because I get free lunch.

But mostly because it would make him happy.

I had never seriously considered it because of an exhaustive Mock Trial competition in high school, the difficulty of the LSAT prep book, and my non-cutthroat nature. I would have complimented Elle's fuzzy pen on the first day of class. 

But my father is a smart man, so I usually try to take his advice as far as I can.

College. What a babe. 

I can't even tell you how many things I love about this picture.

Like me, he didn't like to wear pants or fix his hair. 

And like me, excelled at thrifting and dressing like a grandmother.

 P.S. GUESS WHAT ELSE HAPPENED?!???

After so much moderate watering and love?!??!??

I came home last night and it was dead. Like shriveled up raisin dead. There was no chance of revival.
You tell me what kind of a relationship metaphor I am supposed to draw out of this.

 

 Relief Sorority Sleepover.
There was so much nail polish I couldn't pick just one. Or two. Or three.

Hi, my name is Lauren Simpson and I am thirteen years old.

Tonight I Suddenly Realized

that this ice cream

 

was NOT named after this man.

They are two very different words.

I know I should be embarrassed that I never processed this fact after 21.5 years of eating dessert on this earth... but instead I am just astonished.

According to Wikipedia, "Neapolitan" refers to the City of Naples- or rather, the Italian immigrants who (bless them) brought their expertise in ice cream to Staten Island in the 1800s.

I had no idea.
I always presumed the combination of strawberry, vanilla and chocolate was some kind of deep metaphor for failing to conquer Russia... something they taught you in AP European History.

But I never took that class. So it never made much sense to me.

The Ten Commandments of Running

from "The Gospel According to Lauren."

1. Thou shalt not do what givest thou grief. Dost thou even LIKE to run in the first place? If every step inviteth the thought, "I hate my life," then thou shalt stop immediately and turn thy face towards Zumba instead.

2. Thou shalt invest in a good pair of running shoes. Be not deceived by Asics, for just because they are popular does not mean they are not also equivalent to strapping bricks to thy feet. (Also, thou shalt invest in a good sports bra if that's an issue.)

3. Honor thy body, that thy days may be long upon the land. Harken not to strict training schedules, goeth not out when thou art sick or sore, and save race training for spring- for behold, long runs bringeth no joy to the freezing.

4. Thou shalt resist the urge to buy new clothing every time thou encountereth a seller of sporting goods. But also... thou shalt not judge thy friends who may or may not own 5 pairs of black stretchy pants. Because these things happen.

5. Thou shalt not journey alone on sketchy paths. Especially the Provo River Trail: this thou shalt not travel without an help-meet. For though we do not subscribe to victim-blaming, let us also recognize that some areas are safer than others.

6. Thou shalt not depart from thy house in the late hours of night, for lo! Creepers seek to carry thee away into strange vans. Also, thou deservest to get thy beauty sleep.

7. Forsake thine angsty music. Thou shalt listen to only that which uplifts and bringeth thee happiness, for running is not the sport of haters. Unless thou art a troubled 16-year-old boy, there is no excuse for Linkin Park to have any place on thine iPod.

8. Thou shalt not cut carbs. From the depths of experience, let me repeat: Thou shalt not diet. Instead, thou shalt eat MORE carbohydrates than thy non-running friends and rejoice in thy increasing metabolism. Also, thou shalt drink water like unto a camel.

9. Observe the Sabbath Day to keep it Holy, for this is a day of rest and not of burning cals.

10. Thou shalt not seek attention in hot pink shortie shorts but clad thyself with the inner confidence of T-shirt androgyny. Nor shalt thou respond to car-honkers, whistlers, or shouters of "Hey girl."

Yea, when the world shall say to thee

"Girl, look at that body,"

thou shalt reply,

"My body is a temple- a tabernacle for mine eternal soul which is far greater than my physical appearance."

But lo, if at the time thou art not out in the glories of nature but in the gym with the bros lifting weights with the sinewy strength of thy chicken arms- then thou mayest proudly toss thy head and say,

"I work out."